doctor_j_crane | [64]

Since everyone seems to be posting on their feelings lately, I might share some of mine. Firstly, if you're thinking about posting anecdotes about your life, don't bother. No one cares. Your warden already knows whatever you're going to say from your file, so they don't care either. You're wasting everyone's time.

Secondly, no one cares about what you think you know about space, the barge, religion or our place in the world. Thirdly, introducing yourself is pointless. We're all going to be stuck here for months on end, and we'll all inevitable be thrown together in some kind of ridiculously flood. So I'd recommend doing us all a favor and refrain from inflicting your company on the rest of us.

[Pause. Crane's done with his rant.] And Eames left, in case any of you were wondering. He clearly worked out that you'd have to be insane to stay here willingly.

[Private - Arthur]

I need to talk to you. You can probably guess what about.

[Filtered to the infirmary staff]

I either want some Zoloft or Prozac. Now.

[Private - The Admiral]

I just want to know one thing. I just want an answer to one question.

[OCC: So, Crane's in a bit of a terrible mood and lashing out at the barge. It's up to your discretion mods, whether the Admiral replies. c:]

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You let someone hunt you? [Crane paused, frowning.] Which Armand was it?

[He had a fair idea already, but it was worth asking. With any luck it wouldn't be what he assumed it was.] And it's just a forest. There's no meaning.

[It was the first place that had came to mind which seemed like a relatively stable environment.]

[She gave him a guilty side-glance and nodded.] The vampire. I thought it would help. Was probably stupid, but I haven't always made the best choices here. I thought if I let him do what was natural that he might not attack anyone on the Barge. I figure, hey, walking blood bag, why not? [Pathetic laugh.]

Wasn't it painful? [Crane just looks confused. He doesn't understand how someone could volunteer for that.] Do you even feel pain?

[Claire's cheeks immediately flushed scarlet and she made it a point to observe the nearest tree. Because it hadn't hurt. No, Armand's kiss, his bite, was of the euphoric sort. The lusty sort.] No, it didn't hurt. My body tried to fight off the effects, but...pain wasn't one of them. My pain receptors have been wonky for a long time now, anyway. I don't know why, they just work some days and not others.

Have you ever been bitten before?

[Crane just looks concerned by that.] You should talk to the infirmary. There's a fair chance that if that's caused by your power, they might be able to fix it. A lack of pain isn't a good thing.

And no. [Crane says, honestly.] I've never been bitten.

[If she didn't think he'd flip out or become anger, Claire would have hugged him then. Instead, she stopped and leveled him with a genuine smile and look of appreciation.]

Jonathan, I love you. [She shook her head and explained:] I mean, you are the only person who hasn't thought the lack of pain was a good thing. Everyone thinks this ability is awesome and the best and so on and so forth, but they never stop to think about the cons. Yeah, I won't die, but my family will. My friends will. Yeah, I won't age, but what happens when I find someone I wan to be with and they just see this teenager, when I'm really thirty? [Sigh.] When I first stopped feeling pain, it was consistent. I never felt anything and I started to worry I wasn't even human. I tried leaping off things, I put my hand in the garbage disposal, I tried to get hit by an on-coming train [except Peter stopped that one]...nothing. It...came back, eventually, but it hasn't been normal since.

[Crane looks more than a little bit horrified by all of that.]

I don't know how anyone can think otherwise. It's impossible for you to live any kind of normal life.

[He paused. Thought it through.] I can see why the barge might be good for you.

[Claire found a decent enough log to sit on and gave him a squinty-eyed look.] Do you now? And why, might I ask, would you think that?

[She agreed, but she was curious to hear his reasoning.]

Edited 2011-09-20 13:37 (UTC)

Pain is necessary to being human. It's necessary to determine what you can and cannot do. It's the human body telling you there's a problem and once you lose that, you start to lose your knowledge regarding what you can and cannot do in the world around you.

[Crane put his hands deep in his pockets, looking at the ground.] You need it to know that you're limited, just like everyone else.

Limited.

[She looked off and away, her eyes glazing over in thought. She hadn't really heard that word applied to her before. Special, yes. Warrior, brave, useful. Meredith had tried to teach her this, Noah tried to train her. Sylar...but he gave up or got too involved in Cissie or was just being his usual Sylar-self.

In a very soft tone, she looked up at him an asked: Do you recognize you're limited too, Jonathan?

[Crane didn't look pleased at Claire's suggestion, partially because he knew it was true.] Limited in terms of the barge or in some larger way?

Both. I guess.

[Because it went as such with her. Back home, she had only just begun to be more public about her ability, where here, things were drastically different.]

[Crane sighs, but nods.]

I'm very aware of both. The barge, well. [He pauses, looking around them. The CES looks deceptively open compared to the rest of the barge.] It's very difficult not to realize the limitations of the barge.

That's why I'm so grateful for the CES. Being cooped up all the time, [she shakes her head] I'd go insane. Yeah, it's fake, but it is so much better than having nothing at all. The spa and the gym and the deck, they could only do so much before people started to break. And it's not like the Inmates can just help themselves to most of those things as it is. Things would go badly.

Do you miss anything about home?

[Crane looks around the CES, but it's from his expression you can probably gather that he doesn't see the appeal.] I suppose it does take the edge of the claustrophobia the barge can induce, at the very least.

[Crane pauses before replying.] I do. I miss most things about being there. The barge isn't really an optimal living space.

[She considers this, rolling the thought around in her head.] Not always, no, between the not so fantastic floods and the inconsistent ports, although it offers a way to travel, but it definitely makes you re-think things. Maybe appreciate things you were taking for granted. And it makes friends of people who might have never talked back home...or never met.

[Claire's eyes fall back to Jonathan, a grateful, tiny grin on her lips.]

I suppose there's logic in that. [Crane looks around the CES. Most of the time, he doesn't appreciate anything on the barge. Especially the people.]

I'd still rather by home. [He shrugs.]

You'll get there, Jonathan. I have faith in you.

[She smiled sweetly in his direction, sincere in her statement, her wishes.]

Thank you. [Crane sounded reasonably sincere about that, at least.]

[And bonding fun time was had.]

[64] - [Voice]

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SPAM. - we can assume the rest if you want or wrap it up. ^_^

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