doctor_j_crane | [60]

For reasons totally unrelated to the recent flood, I've recently turned my mind to the issue of barge romantic relationships. [Crane sounds awkward just saying it.] Frankly, I'm confused as to why anyone could ever think that it ever would work out. Ignoring numerous public examples of messy arguments between wardens and inmates alike, I've never in my experience heard of a prison being described as a good dating environment. While the inmates do obviously suffer a certain lack of options, it's the wardens that persist in romantic liaisons that surprise me.

How can your supposed relationships have real meaning if they have an expiration date date? Or would you be willing to give up your family, friends and universe for one person who seemed like a good option while you were in a prison? You can believe me when I say that it isn't only unrealistic, it's unhealthy. It's no more valuable than a relationship forged in a war zone, done by the same messy necessity and a certain need to settle for what is available, no matter how substandard. It's disturbing how easily you all seem to give in to the delusion that it means something. It doesn't. It just has that sliver more meaning than the rest of your pointless existence on the barge. Furthermore, it's a disservice to your inmates and not to mention a failure in your duties as wardens. You're not here to find meaningful relationships with each other. You're supposed to be helping us.

[Pause. Crane sounds slightly more amused.] I hadn't done this in a while. It's highly therapeutic for me to tell you all the ways that you're wrong. I recommend it highly to other inmates.

[Private- Edward Nygma]

It could be slightly related to the flood. [The longest pause.] I'm not sure that I want to talk about it. I do apologize though.

[OOC: Whoops, going to do that post and run thing. Will be back in eight hours, after sleep. <3]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

That's mainly why I chose her. You're so easy to provoke.

I would suggest your inmate as my second guess, but I think that might be taking it a little too far even by my standards.

That's even more horrific a suggestion. It is taking it far too far, and if you're trying to provoke me into answering your question, you can stop now.

I will, since you asked so nicely. If it's any consolation, I know you're not really seeing anyone.

...And now you're trying to encourage me to contradict you. You're quite good at this, Crane.

[Private]

I do think you had a legitimate point. It shouldn't be dismissed.

I'm taking that as a compliment.

[Private]

Oh, it will be. I strongly suspect that it's half because it's me saying it.

Being quite good at something that usually pisses people off? Only you would take it as a compliment.

[Private]

It was brought up by a warden before, I have to mention. Conflicts of interest are always an important matter if you ask me.

I can't imagine suggesting I'm in a relationship with someone married, or my own inmate, though, particularly helps your cause in looking like you're not doing this to get a rise, though.

I half suspect you are, but if you ask me, the point is a serious one.

People are too sensitive.

[Private]

I hadn't expected that, although I suppose given the policing background of some wardens it's only natural.

I was multitasking, but you're right. [Pause.] To be honest, this was mostly done to get a rise out of you, Iago and any wardens that happened to be passing by.

You usually cant' blame them.

[Private]

It's not just us, by the way. The police wardens, I mean.

I'm unsurprised, but you didn't get a rise, you got reasoned discussion. Then you reduced it to absurd accusations.

I can and I do.

[Private]

Who else is it? Generally. I don't expect you to name names.

Why are they so absurd? They're abuses of power that could actually occur on the barge.

I'm not sure we come in general groupings, you know.

I'm aware of that, and the idea of them isn't absurd - but I find them so when I know for a fact I'd never dream of either.

I suppose not.

Of course you wouldn't. That's how I know that I'll get a reaction.

Do you even get any pleasure out of that reaction?

Some. It depends on what the reaction is.

What reaction to you expect, though?

Angry, disgust. I expected you to stop talking to me, honestly.

If I stopped talking to everyone that offended me, I wouldn't get very far as a policeman, would I?

No, you wouldn't get very far at all. I suppose you must have been a decent policeman wherever you came from. Pity about the rest of it. [Namely how he died.]

I'd like to think I was.

[paaaaaaaaaaaause]

Do you really mean that?

Yes, I mean it. Now we can hug and be best friends forever. [The sarcasm, it is great.]

Or not.

Exactly.

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