doctor_j_crane | [60]

For reasons totally unrelated to the recent flood, I've recently turned my mind to the issue of barge romantic relationships. [Crane sounds awkward just saying it.] Frankly, I'm confused as to why anyone could ever think that it ever would work out. Ignoring numerous public examples of messy arguments between wardens and inmates alike, I've never in my experience heard of a prison being described as a good dating environment. While the inmates do obviously suffer a certain lack of options, it's the wardens that persist in romantic liaisons that surprise me.

How can your supposed relationships have real meaning if they have an expiration date date? Or would you be willing to give up your family, friends and universe for one person who seemed like a good option while you were in a prison? You can believe me when I say that it isn't only unrealistic, it's unhealthy. It's no more valuable than a relationship forged in a war zone, done by the same messy necessity and a certain need to settle for what is available, no matter how substandard. It's disturbing how easily you all seem to give in to the delusion that it means something. It doesn't. It just has that sliver more meaning than the rest of your pointless existence on the barge. Furthermore, it's a disservice to your inmates and not to mention a failure in your duties as wardens. You're not here to find meaningful relationships with each other. You're supposed to be helping us.

[Pause. Crane sounds slightly more amused.] I hadn't done this in a while. It's highly therapeutic for me to tell you all the ways that you're wrong. I recommend it highly to other inmates.

[Private- Edward Nygma]

It could be slightly related to the flood. [The longest pause.] I'm not sure that I want to talk about it. I do apologize though.

[OOC: Whoops, going to do that post and run thing. Will be back in eight hours, after sleep. <3]

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Fine, decent beings. [Pause.] And what are you, exactly?

I'm a Time Lord.

I might have heard about this before. What is a Time Lord, exactly?

[Considering that they're one of the more prominent non-human species aboard, he's genuinely surprised that Crane doesn't know.]

The Time Lords are the oldest and most powerful species of the universe, and native to the planet Gallifrey. We have conquered time and have acted as protectors of the Web of Time. [They also destroy planets and people when they deem it necessary, but that just doesn't sound as nice.]

[Pause.] The Web of Time. Which is what, exactly? [Crane's heard bits and pieces of this, but never the whole lot in detail. It's a lot to take in.]

It is that which holds history together. Without it, all of time would be in flux.

So that makes you what, the time police?

If that is the only way you can grasp the concept.

But I'm correct?

Vaguely. It's a Time Lord's duty to protect the Web. [His Web.]

So you're the lord of the web, then? "Time Lord" seems somewhat misleading.

No. We conquered time. We don't have to protect the Web, but I decided, when I founded Time Lord society, that that would be the most responsible thing to do with our power. [There'd really be no point in creating it and then not maintaining it.]

You founded a society? Seriously?

Yes. I led the revolution against the Pythia and I shaped Gallifrey as it's ruler afterwards.

Naturally. Tell me, have you heard the phrase 'delusions of grandeur'?

Oh, of course. I do believe there are people who have those. I, though, have actually done the things I speak of. [Hrgh, why can't he vaporize Crane for his indolence.]