[60] - [Voice]

[doctor_j_crane]

For reasons totally unrelated to the recent flood, I've recently turned my mind to the issue of barge romantic relationships. [Crane sounds awkward just saying it.] Frankly, I'm confused as to why anyone could ever think that it ever would work out. Ignoring numerous public examples of messy arguments between wardens and inmates alike, I've never in my experience heard of a prison being described as a good dating environment. While the inmates do obviously suffer a certain lack of options, it's the wardens that persist in romantic liaisons that surprise me.

How can your supposed relationships have real meaning if they have an expiration date date? Or would you be willing to give up your family, friends and universe for one person who seemed like a good option while you were in a prison? You can believe me when I say that it isn't only unrealistic, it's unhealthy. It's no more valuable than a relationship forged in a war zone, done by the same messy necessity and a certain need to settle for what is available, no matter how substandard. It's disturbing how easily you all seem to give in to the delusion that it means something. It doesn't. It just has that sliver more meaning than the rest of your pointless existence on the barge. Furthermore, it's a disservice to your inmates and not to mention a failure in your duties as wardens. You're not here to find meaningful relationships with each other. You're supposed to be helping us.

[Pause. Crane sounds slightly more amused.] I hadn't done this in a while. It's highly therapeutic for me to tell you all the ways that you're wrong. I recommend it highly to other inmates.

[Private- Edward Nygma]

It could be slightly related to the flood. [The longest pause.] I'm not sure that I want to talk about it. I do apologize though.

[OOC: Whoops, going to do that post and run thing. Will be back in eight hours, after sleep. <3]

Comments

[ichoosefight.livejournal.com]

You don't even wear them over your eyes, you wear them on your forehead with your cutesy flight scarf. Sorry, cutesy villain flight scarf.

[doctor-j-crane.livejournal.com]

That is ridiculous. I have never worn a flight scarf in my life.

[ichoosefight.livejournal.com]

And you run around in your neighbor's yard playing with your doom-machine. I can see it all so clearly now.

[doctor-j-crane.livejournal.com]

I assure you, I have never attempted to create a doom-machine. [Pause.] This hasn't actually happened in your universe, has it?

[ichoosefight.livejournal.com]

That depends, does a giant fear-gas generator count as a doom machine?

[doctor-j-crane.livejournal.com]

My counterpart seems to be lacking in subtlety.

[ichoosefight.livejournal.com]

Nah, I'm just messing with you now.

[doctor-j-crane.livejournal.com]

How wardenly of you.

[ichoosefight.livejournal.com]

That's not even a real word.

[doctor-j-crane.livejournal.com]

I consider "warden" both a noun and a verb. Considering that there's no adequate term to describe what exactly it is that you do, I by necessity had to utilize a less than optimum word.

[ichoosefight.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry, I can't count points for that in scrabble. Dictionary says 'no'.

[doctor-j-crane.livejournal.com]

Because language never changes or evolves. You really are stuck inside your little box, aren't you?

[ichoosefight.livejournal.com]

Yes. A scrabble box. You know, you're really bad at joking around.

[doctor-j-crane.livejournal.com]

I imagine it's the result of disliking almost everyone on the barge.

[ichoosefight.livejournal.com]

I don't think that's it, because I have strong negative feelings for you and yet I still manage to crack a joke in every couple of sentences.

[doctor-j-crane.livejournal.com]

Yes, that's because you apparently take some form of sadistic pleasure in mocking others. It's quite ironic, really.

[ichoosefight.livejournal.com]

Ironic like how you take sadistic pleasure in attacking others with nightmares?

[doctor-j-crane.livejournal.com]

I don't gain pleasure from it. Just valuable scientific information.

[ichoosefight.livejournal.com]

Sure, sure, that's what they all say.

[doctor-j-crane.livejournal.com]

It's true. Not all of us are like the Joker.

[ichoosefight.livejournal.com]

So enlighten me. What exactly is wrong with you that you're willing to put 'science' ahead of human life? Is it a god complex? Sociopathy? Compulsion? Addiction? Honestly, tell me. I never read that deep into Batman's files.

[Private]

[doctor-j-crane.livejournal.com]

Sociopathy, I imagine. I seem to lack the empathetic response that others have which causes them to value human life over other things.

[Private]

[ichoosefight.livejournal.com]

Certainly explains why you have so many friends.

[Private]

[doctor-j-crane.livejournal.com]

I have the capability to make friends. People are reasonably easy to please if you know what they want. But I choose not to.

[Private]

[ichoosefight.livejournal.com]

That's not the same as having friends.