[58] - [Voice]

[doctor_j_crane]

I'm not going to talk about what happened during the flood. Deal with it.

[Pause, before continuing on.] And you know what else? I'm done. I'm finished with this wider barge program. I officially do not care about what any other warden does except my own. Almost none of you deserve to be a warden. You victimize your inmates, you victimize other inmates. You victimize each other. Whatever the Admiral is offering you? You don't deserve it. You negated your right to receive it as soon as you stopped doing your job. I may be "crazy", as so many of you like to tell me to my face, but at least I know exactly what I am and what I've done. All of you might like to have a good long look in the mirror and then a good long look at your inmate. Because for most of you? There isn't much of a difference.

I'm not going to highlight who this doesn't apply to. You know who you are.


[Private - Eames]

Do you want a full detailed write up or a summary? Because I feel like that flood severely impaired my ability to coherently deal with people for a while there.

Comments

[doctor-j-crane.livejournal.com]

One? Of course. This has never ever happened otherwise and not been brought to the attention of the general populous. That would be impossible, wouldn't it?

[kingfor-aday.livejournal.com]

I can count five instances in the time I've been here. All of which have been dealt with, and faced consequences from the rest of the wardens. I can count another two where the Admiral has acted against them. In my view, seven is still seven too many, but they haven't gone unanswered or tolerated by everyone, like you imply, and in the 20 months I've been here, given the total lack of legal system, high stress environment and, aye, dubious hiring policy, I'm almost surprised there wasn't more.

[doctor-j-crane.livejournal.com]

You can't count the things that you don't know about, Howie. And I still notice the fact that flood and port related violence apparently doesn't count.

derp, retroactive private. phone let me down.

[kingfor-aday.livejournal.com]

No, but neither can you, so if you know about something I don't, tell me.

Aye, and that's a standard for wardens and inmates. You cannot be held accountable for something you were not in conscious control of yourself for.

[All Private] Phone's make everything more special. c:

[doctor-j-crane.livejournal.com]

That's a nice speech. But it doesn't apply to the reality of what's on the barge. Not everyone is going to live by your standards.

Re: [All Private] Phone's make everything more special. c:

[kingfor-aday.livejournal.com]

No, but we try to hold people accountable for what we know about. They're not my standards, they're collective standards, and if you tell me something violent or damaging happened, I will take it seriously. I took you seriously about Mr Wayne, but was also assured your warden was looking into it for you. If he wasn't, I would have done something.

You can't brand us as unaccountable when we're doing our best to make sure we are. Which isn't perfect, and we might miss things, but that's true of anything.

[All Private] ccc:

[doctor-j-crane.livejournal.com]

I don't have an issue with Wayne [Such lies.] Eames and Wayne talked it out, apparently. [Even more lies.]

Strangely enough, there are more warden's who seem apathetic to everything than there are wardens who care about accountability. So who enforces it? You?

Re: [All Private] ccc:

[kingfor-aday.livejournal.com]

I was just using it as an example. I take it seriously when I find out someone might have done something wrong.

I'd like to say there's more than you think. But the point is, I give a damn about people being accountable, and about trying to get other people to give a damn too. As do some other people. And I'll keep trying. I'm not giving up on it, so your generalisations are unfair and mostly unfounded.

[All Private] ccc:

[doctor-j-crane.livejournal.com]

Do you have the majority? Would you, if the wardens voted on something?

My accusations aren't unfounded. But I do appreciate on some level that at least you're trying.

Re: [All Private] ccc:

[kingfor-aday.livejournal.com]

At least half the wardens participate - whether actively, or just by voting, in the process, by my count.

There's quite a few of us who are, because we don't want accusations like yours to be the truth.

[All Private] ccc:

[doctor-j-crane.livejournal.com]

But do they side with you?

You're not going to give me names, are you?

Re: [All Private] ccc:

[kingfor-aday.livejournal.com]

Not always, but they don't have to. We hold each other accountable by deciding on these matters - what people decide is neither one way or another.

No.

[All Private] ccc:

[doctor-j-crane.livejournal.com]

This is all wonderful in theory, Howie. But it isn't the actual practice.

Re: [All Private] ccc:

[kingfor-aday.livejournal.com]

You can't possibly know that.

And even if it isn't, it's what I'm aiming to achieve.

[All Private] ccc:

[doctor-j-crane.livejournal.com]

Yes, I can. It's called observation.

Always the optimist, aren't you?

Re: [All Private] ccc:

[kingfor-aday.livejournal.com]

But you can't see everything to observe. Half the information isn't a good way of making any observation.

I believe in people.

[All Private] ccc:

[doctor-j-crane.livejournal.com]

Half the information is a good way to observe a general trend.

Why?

Re: [All Private] ccc:

[kingfor-aday.livejournal.com]

But not when the other half is crucially contradictory.

Because I have to - not just in a religious sense that I do believe everyone is capable of doing good as well as evil and that to love my fellow man, I have to believe in them. It's important, to believe in forgiveness, to believe that people are capable of doing different, but equally, I have to believe that I and the law are protecting something worthwhile. Putting my life, and sanity, and God knows what else in danger for something that's worth it.

And I always believed it was.

[All Private] ccc:

[doctor-j-crane.livejournal.com]

You can't know that that's true.

[Long pause. Then Crane laughs.] That's both encouraging and depressing. You care, which is something, but the fact that it's so misguided makes it something rather miserable to look at. Nothing here is worthwhile. It's not meant to be worthwhile.

Re: [All Private] ccc:

[kingfor-aday.livejournal.com]

I believe it is. That's all that matters.

I think you're wrong. I find it depressing you think it's misguided, to be honest.

[All Private] ccc:

[doctor-j-crane.livejournal.com]

It is misguided. That's just how things are. You let your own high standards blind you to the fact that no one else follows them.

Re: [All Private] ccc:

[kingfor-aday.livejournal.com]

I only hold people to standards I think they can meet.

[All Private]

[doctor-j-crane.livejournal.com]

You have personalized standards for everyone?

Re: [All Private]

[kingfor-aday.livejournal.com]

No, but I have certain expectations of certain people.

[All Private]

[doctor-j-crane.livejournal.com]

Do you have any expectations of me?