doctor_j_crane

I will be setting up an anonymous clinic on Friday afternoons, where full doctor-patient confidentiality will be in place. For inmates, this means that whatever you bring to me will not be reported to your warden.


[Warden Filter]

Consider this a social experiment. If it becomes too problematic, I won't continue.

[OOC: It sort of is Friday in some places, so if anyone wants to spam/assume, just put a comment in the post. c:]

[Private to Kay, Narvin and Dracula]

Given that the prototype for the tranquilizer is going so well, it's probably time that we tried it out. We'll need a delivery system and something or someone to test it on. Voluntarily, of course. I also think the CES might also offer a controlled, yet variable environment to do testing in.

[Private to Infirmary Staff]

Who is in charge in the infirmary at the moment and which one of you is Simon Tam?

[Public]

How many of you know basic first aid? I assume that most of you know next to nothing, but I'd quite like to be proven wrong.

Do I have your permission to work in the infirmary? They're short staffed.


[And another private to the Marquis]

Did you survive the port?

I'd like to speak to you both about the vampire tranquilizer project.

Narvin, I'd like to discuss the use of lab resources and a potential schedule for the project.

Dracula, I've got a number of questions about the vampires on the barge. Furthermore, I am also very aware that for many of them this project may be highly sensitive. I think we need to discuss at what time it would be appropriate to inform them of what's occurring.

Graduation seems to be a relative thing. I fail to understand how the Admiral prevents the somewhat inevitable relapse that would occur when an inmate returned to their place of origin. I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that I would continue doing exactly what I'd been doing before. I wouldn't even really term it a 'relapse', since it's only a relapse by the Admiral's standards. A return to a scientific pursuit would be a more accurate term.

[Pause.] These floods are getting more and more ridiculous. The only cold comfort that goes along with this type of floods is that people rarely seem to care or remember what's revealed during them.

[Private - Edward Nygma]

We need to talk about those transcripts.

[Private - Eames]

I feel like I should be getting together a list of people who have threatened to kill me.

[Crane is sitting at his desk, and is looking at a rather large spider that is currently walking up his arm.] It's fantastic to know that there's such a wonderful system for dealing with emergencies on the barge. I was under the impression that when someone demonstrated uncontrollable powers people might be inclined to follow a procedure to contain them, rather then standing around and brainstorming.

[Have a moment of quiet seething, while Crane takes the spider off his shoulder and lets it start crawling around on the table.]

This flood is also ridiculous. I fail to understand how having leaves falling on the deck is designed to make us 'better' people. If anything, it would just encourage anyone with a lighter to make a bonfire. Books from the library would make good fuel, wouldn't they? [Nope, totally not encouraging other inmates to do bad things. Definitely not.]

[Inmate filter]

If anyone does decide to do that, at the very least stick to some useless romantic fiction books.

[Private - Eddie]

[Oh look, Crane put his spider back in the tank while he's talking to Eddie.] I'm assuming that you're either dead or have had your powers contained. If you are hypothetically alive, can I have the key to your room? I need to use your equipment.

[Added later - Private - Ms Rose]

Would you be able to take Nygma some of his books to zero? My warden is unlikely to take me down there. Apparently Nygma's fine, but bored. He also requested painkillers.

[OCC: Crane is flood affected, and for the new people the spiders are his pets. They come from the broom cupboard. It's a beautiful story.]

It has come to my attention that with our recent influx of visitors to the town, that the threat Drink may once again be making its way through our ranks. [Crane sighs. This is so very frustrating.] I feel that as the doctor of this fine town, it is my duty to remind you not only of your role as civilized, law abiding people, but also of the consequences of such vagrancy. I must remind you not of the virtues of Temperance, but the horrors of Drink. [You can hear him capitalizing the words.]

As our friend Benjamin Rush emphasized so long ago, the impact of Drink cannot be underestimated on the body nor on the mind. If you were to have even one sip, people of the town, rest assured that you would find yourself hopelessly dependant on the substance. Your whole body craving it, you will lose your employment, your home, your family and finally your life. If you think that Drink is worth such a cost, please, I invite you to partake in it.

[He glowers at the camera for a few seconds.]

I also advise that no one visits the show. It is a disrespectful place and dangerous. I will be attending myself in order to make scientific observations, but I encourage all others to avoid it if possible. They will take your hard earned money, as well as poison your body and steal your life.

If you need to send me a message while doing so, do use the journal system. For other concerns, do ask my wife, Piper. Doubtless she will be willing to advise you on any concerns of virtue that you may have. [There's a slight edge in Crane's voice, and he turns off the journal.]

I have a specimen that I think has lived in a bucket for a little too long. I would like a proper enclosure for it. Admiral, it can be plastic if you don't think I can be trusted with glass. [Crane sounds thoroughly unimpressed by this. He's referring to a non poisonous huntsman spider, that appeared in a Rom Com cupboard with Eddie and himself.]

[Crane pauses before continuing.] I'm rather surprised that the murder in the garden was handled so well. Was it because the culprit was reasonably obvious or due to actual police work?

[Private - Rose]

The garden is less quiet than I would have expected. I trust that you weren't affected by the recent events?

[Private - Hayley]

I want to show you some instructions. I need to know if you're capable of performing them.

[Crane’s holding the device up, and you can see from the wall behind him that he’s in zero.]

I don’t see why you’re all taking this so personally. It isn’t that different from one of your little floods, is it? And it’s not like the lot of you didn’t have it coming.

[Crane shrugs, as if to say ‘my bad’.]

Have fun with the cleanup. I’m sure there will be lots of exciting things to find around the barge.

[Crane gives the camera a bit of a grin, then moves the device away to turn it off. You can still see for a second that he doesn't look as cheerful as his tone would indicate.]

[Whoops, Crane’s in zero (brought down by Sam Tyler) and still a little bit high from the fear gas. He’s decided that he doesn’t really care if other people know he caused it because he reckons the information will get around anyway. He also doesn’t know that Ms Rose is alive yet either. I’m also open for a spam with any wardens coming down to visit him or other cool cats in zero. And this post is dated to around Sunday evening.]

A flood? What on earth is that supposed to be? There isn't water anywhere, even if this place was so poorly architecturally designed that it didn't have a sufficient drainage system.

If this is some kind code for a change of medication, I'm going to find the Admiral and show him exactly what it's like to be... [crossed out words are illegible]


...Dr. Facilier, I've also been considering your strange shadow creature. I want to know how it works. You must have been quite inventive to create a being of such lifelike proportions. It's genius, in its way.

[Private to Max]

A Doctor was looking for volunteers in the infirmary. Since menial labor is apparently a meaningful occupation, can I have permission to volunteer? Considering my past medical experience, I think I'd be more then competant in an emergency.