doctor_j_crane: Crane looking neutral. (Sigh forever)
I'm back, so certain people can stop celebrating. [Ah, paranoia. Crane sounds pretty bad. The wonders of death toll. You may notice that he's trying a bit too hard to be casual.] I hadn't died since September and I hadn't died outside of a port. I suppose I'll have to start my count again of how many days it's been. How disappointing.

[Private - Hayley]

I might be here for another day or so. I assume that you can feed my spiders?

[Private - Marquis]

Did Iago offer you any explanation in particular for what he did?

[Added later - Infirmary filter, minus Rex]

I refuse to let Rex have anything to do with my treatment. We've got far too much negative history. I'm not doubting his skills, but surely some of you can see that it isn't a positive situation to put either of us in?

[OOC: Crane's chilling in the infirmary, being generally mopey. Feel free to throw up spam threads.]
doctor_j_crane: Crane looking neutral. (Listening)
A vet. Seriously, Admiral? I'm a qualified doctor, not to mention the years I spent specializing. [Crane's tone is very much "I can't even".]

Even so, that was one of the least offensive ports I've taken part in. How many people died, exactly? Surely it doesn't compare to that time we were in that town with the carnival.

[Added later]

I'm aware that a number of you are from an alternate universe that also possess the Batman. I want to ask you something about your Gotham.


[Private - Capa]

I'm not entirely sure what to say. Apparently even in the time period we were in, you were still wasting your time on useless things. [Not said particularly vindictively.]

[Private - Eames]

I gave the Batman the formulas for the toxin that Nygma used on Arthas. [Pause.] There was no way of knowing that he was going to do that.

[Private - Eddie]

[Feel the awkward pause.] I gather that isn't quite what you expected from the port. You aren't demoted yet, are you?
doctor_j_crane: Crane looking neutral. (Open door)
[There's just the video posting footage, with no lead in or explanation at all. The angle is fairly steady, and you can make out the fact that it's the inmate showers. The very first shot is of Perry Dawsey hitting Rex in the face, before wrenching off Rex's ventilator because it's getting in the way. There's a fair bit of noise. Perry is yelling as he hits Rex.]

"You like that? You fucking like that? How does it feel?"

[You can clearly see Rex struggling, trying to get the ventilator back, before Perry kicks it away. Perry punches Rex a few more times. It's fairly obvious that Rex stops struggling. Then, after all that drama lama, Crane points the video away. You get a few shots of the floor as Crane quickly walks to the door.]

[The angle jerks up as Crane runs into someone. Why, it's Eddie Brock. Who looks more than a little bit surprised.]

"What the hell?" [You so shrill, Eddie.]

[Crane's pretty quick off the mark in replying.]

Everything went according to your plan. You should be happy that it went so well. [Crane says, before the camera angle tilts and he walks past Eddie. The camera feed cuts out.]

[And cuts back in, with a reasonably obvious time skip. Crane's standing in a different corridor, angling the camera at himself.] Well, I think everyone can feel better about the whole nanomite situation. Let it not be said that just because the wardens aren't prepared to fix a situation, there aren't other members of the barge willing to step up to the plate.

[And end video post.]
doctor_j_crane: Crane looking like he's arguing. (Let me explain)
[Crane sounds really, really angry. He's been on a deserted island for three days. It happens.]

When Eames told me that all of this was Rex, I didn't believe him. Because it's Rex. [Pause of rage.]

It doesn't matter if he's dead. So what? He'll have expected the death toll. He will have expected a week in zero. He doesn't care about what any of you think. There's no way to punish him that wardens have ever traditionally used.

So do you know what I recommend, in my professional opinion? The only thing Rex does actually seem to care about. His snakes. I'm not sure where they are at the moment, but I think we should find them. They're probably just in his room. I also think that he needs to appreciate just how much damage he's done to the people of the barge. [Specifically, Crane's people.] I suggest that we dispose of them, since he obviously doesn't deserve the privilege of having pets. I also suggest that he be given the remains so he can fully appreciate the consequences of his actions.

[Pause.] I'm aware that some of you are squeamish. I wouldn't mind doing it myself, personally and giving it to him. In pieces. Because there's nothing like the bloodied remains of your beloved pets to remind you that some things just aren't a good idea.

[Added later:]

The snakes are in Harper's room, apparently. It makes me wonder if he has a wardenly duty to hand them over to the general barge public.

[Ooc: This is not seriously going to happen, Crane is a crazy loon. Rex's snakes are adorable.]
doctor_j_crane: Crane looking neutral. (Not quite/ugh)
As much as people here like to say that we don't age, some measure of time must pass here. The plants in the garden still grow and the passing of time seems to affect animals.

[Have a shot of spider babies, people. Crane's spiders made glorious offspring. I'll spare you guys a picture, but just imagine tiny spiders amongst the adult ones in the tank. The tiny spiders are moving around pretty quickly.]

They might start to consume each other at any moment. You can imagine the primal fear going through the newborns. Even at the earliest stages of life, they acknowledge the mortal peril that the large spiders could inflict on them at any moment. Consumption, for no better reason than a whim considering the food that the tank provides for them.

[Crane pauses, leaving the video shot on the tank. One of the big spiders is moving towards some of the younger ones.] Just think, this must be what we look like to the Admiral.

[Private - Eddie (added later)]

Riddle solved. Kay, Narvin, Cooper and Washington. [Kay told him so.]
doctor_j_crane: Crane looking neutral. (Distance)
[Crane sounds exasperated and in pain.]

The lesson of this weeks port? Heroics are useless. If you achieved anything, it's probably more due to luck than anything else.

[Infirmary filter]

My arm is broken. I need one of you to set it for me and to give me drugs. I will not be staying in the infirmary. I'm sure you'll have enough individuals suffering from the death toll to deal with.

[Filtered to Crane's "friends" - Rose, Eddie, Facilier, Hayley and Irene (who was added begrudgingly)]

I trust that you all made it through the port unscathed?

[Private - Piper]

How are you? [A placeholder until we decide what we want done in the port, bb.]
doctor_j_crane: Crane looking neutral. (I See)
I’m out of zero, since the warden administration decided to get their act together. [Eye roll, Crane’s obviously not impressed with the time he spent down there.]

Unsurprisingly, nothing has changed. Good job though, with getting rid of the fear gas mess so far. The dining hall is looking quite pleasant. You could almost eat your lunch there without thinking about someone getting murdered where your chair is. [Crane just smiles at the camera for a long moment, before flicking it off.]

[Private – Irene Adler]

I don’t suppose you know anything about this? [Crane holds up a wad of paper which appears to be a file on Irene, with a kiss in lipstick on the top. He’s put it in a plastic sleeve to avoid touching the icky lady germs.]

[Private – Ms Rose]

I’m out of zero, finally, but you’re not in the infirmary. Where are you?

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