[63] - [Voice]

[doctor_j_crane]

For once, I want to hear the opinions of all of you. Wardens, inmates. I don't particularly care which. What do you consider necessary for graduation? Where's the bar that your inmate has to reach? That you think you have to reach as an inmate?

While I've spent most of my life dealing in moral ambiguity, the spectacularly difficult task of identifying just what makes graduating possible is beyond me. It seems to be like some variety of mirage, which you spend all your time following in the hope that one day someone will declare you standing in the middle of it. It's an impossibly frustrating target.


[Private - Eames]

This isn't a criticism of you. I just want to know what they think.

Comments

[Private]

[most_feared]

The only tangible results that would have come with killing him would have just dicked you over. I'm not even talking about "feeling bad about yourself" or whatever. I'm talking about the months of suspicion after you made the fear gas and how showing off Rex getting killed got you attacked, killed apparently, put in Zero, and harassed by a dozen people. Some of which haven't forgiven you for either.

It's not worth it. You don't have to fuckin' like Rex or Iago. Or think they deserve sympathy after putting you through bullshit. But all doing anything to them is gonna do is screw over your future attempts at legitimate research.

So, what's more worth it, graduating and being able to be a scientist with a clean record again? Or just waiting for the next chance to show up the people you hate.

[Private]

[doctor-j-crane.livejournal.com]

It's not my responsibility if other people can't let things go. Their lack of flexibility regarding the issue is their problem, not mine.

I know. That's why I haven't done anything to either of them recently. But doing that has gotten me nowhere. I didn't kill Iago, which is the social equivalent of showing myself as an easy target, but there's been little to no acknowledgment that I took the right course of action.

Surely you must understand the appeal of acting otherwise. Instant results, compared to graduation which I strongly suspect is never going to happen.

[Private]

[most_feared]

It's more than letting things go. It's that you're not safe in their eyes. That people don't think you see them as people. Once bitten. Twice shy.

But yeah. I see the appeal of acting otherwise. I had the option of killing someone who murdered someone close to me and starting a war, or letting them go and doing my job.

I let them go. It wasn't worth it.

I get the appeal. I more than get it, because I'm not going to feel bad about it. But there's too much that goes wrong with immediate gratification, like pissing off the people close to you, losing your job, losing your life's work. Because someone pissed you off? Not worth it.

[Private]

[doctor-j-crane.livejournal.com]

To be entirely honest, I don't care what they think. Unless someone has been seriously misguiding me about graduation, their views are irrelevant to what I do.

As someone who lost their life's work due to bad luck, I can understand the sentiment. But it doesn't give me anything practical that's going to help me to get out of here.

[Private]

[most_feared]

Maybe I could come up with more if I had your file, but I think you would get the best advice from the people that used to be inmates. They managed to make it, and they're the ones that give me advice a lot of the time when I start getting frustrated with not being able to help my inmate.

[Private]

[doctor-j-crane.livejournal.com]

I suppose it would probably be worth my while to do that in future. Although I'd also be operating off the assumption that they were slightly insane, considering they stayed here willingly.

[Private]

[most_feared]

I think some of them, even alive, didn't have exactly what it was that they wanted to go back to.

[Private]

[doctor-j-crane.livejournal.com]

I've always wondered if inmates get to choose where they go back to. I assume not, since so many people make those sorts of deals.